Friday, October 14, 2011

Thirty by Thirty


I feel like the theme of my new life is wildly self-indulgent self-discovery, or something like that. It involves a lot of time spent analyzing my thoughts, actions, wants, desires, dreams (both day and night dreams), and attempting to draw conclusions from said egregious self-analyzation. So far it has been pretty fruitless, but I refuse to get discouraged. I have decided quite a few things about myself in the past month and a half that I definitely wouldn't have ever discovered had I not made some huge changes. For example, I can actually pull off the color pink (well, one shade of pink.) And, I like some songs by the Dixie Chicks, and THAT'S OKAY, DAMN IT. It doesn't make me a pansy. I learned I can't make it through a trip on the expressway without screaming at least once. And as an extension of that lesson- I probably shouldn't drive on the expressway. Oh, and I feel most comfortable when there's tequila in the house, within arm's reach. Well, that I've probably known since I was a baby, but that's neither here nor there. On the real, since making some dramatic life changes, I've learned a lot about myself as a person, daughter, friend, and lover.... OH WAIT, JK! TOTES NOT AS A LOVER BECAUSE OHIO IS WHERE UGLY DUDES GO TO DIE. JK, not really. But seriously. Have these guys even heard of dark wash denim? A couple fabulous gays and we could whip them all into shape, for sure. But that's another post for another day. (Queer Eye for the Midwest Guy?)

This is about my newest tool in self-discovery: my 30 by 30 list. It's a list of thirty things I want to do/see/accomplish before I turn 30, in about 7 years. Ooft. I'm just starting to put it together, and I'm actually trying to be super strict about what's on it. I don't want to put things on the list I feel like are totally unattainable, but I want to push myself and have my goals written down in a tangible way. At least that makes them real in some way, right? Some of them are SUPER corny, and others are wildly aspirational. It's good to mix it up. I wouldn't want a list of 30 things that are all super extreme things like bungee jumping, or the opposite either- a huge list of career goals. I see it more as a non-planner's plan for the future. A little bit of this, a little bit of that.
So I decided to share a few items off my list here, so I'm accountable to my lifelong BFF: the internet. I'm really hoping I can check everything off before I hit the big 3-0. Fingers crossed.

- Drive across the country
- Get something else pierced
- Go skydiving
- Read The Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
- Write a book (SRSLY.)
- Own my very own puppy
- Get my side piece done (which might relocate to my upper thigh, but sentiment is the same)
- Punch someone in the face (Like, for real)
- Get punched in the face (Like, maybe as a joke)
- Start riding my bike places in an unironic fashion
- Climb 5.12s & 5.13s all day like a beast
- Go a day without telling a poop joke
- Learn how to sew
- Speak fluent Spanish
- Convince at least 5 people in the world that I'm black
- Pull off an all white outfit after labor day without spilling anything on myself

Okay, so I probably need to take this a little bit more seriously. I swear, like every third item on my list is a joke. I can't help it. I'm just naturally funny, guys. But a lot of these I am definitely keeping on my final list. Specifically punching someone in the face. I'm still perplexed by the fact that I made it to 23 without a vivid memory of punching someone in the face. I could have repressed it though. Regardless, it's going on the list. I'm resisting the urge to be a huge dork and get it laminated or something. The girl who told me about the 30 by 30 list in the first place told me she lost hers for like 3 years, found it, and was amazed at how much she had accomplished off the list without intentionally doing so. Problem is, if I lose it, I'll never find it again. I'm going to put it somewhere and come back to it every once in a while to see if I'm making any progress.

Goals are good things to have. So are dreams. I have a lot of both.
carmen

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