Remember being like 8-years-old and thinking older kids were so cool? Then, when you turned 16 and realized being able to drive wasn't as awesome as you thought it would be, and that you weren't nearly as cool as you thought you would be. That was when you thought 18 was the golden age of freedom. Turns out, it wasn't. There was still 21- the final fronteer of aging. Turns out all that got you was a night of tequila, throwing up and a hangover horrible enough to convince you not to drink for the next week at least. (Probably the longest I've been sober since I turned 21.) After that, there really aren't any more perks that come with age, unless you count inching closer to death as a perk. That makes you weird though, so hopefully not. After 21, there's really nothing but adulthood and life to figure out. Let's face it- the time period from 21-30 is really weird. More than that, with all the major life decisions that happen during that time, it's actually a super difficult time, too. Can we all just band together and agree on that one simple fact, please? I mean, sure, it's not difficult compared to like being homeless or starving or something. But if you want to compare all the things I complain about on a daily basis to like, actual problems, then I'll just feel like a bad human being. So don't do that. I want to sit here and indulge myself a little bit, okay?
Recently I've begun to realize what a suck-fest it can be to be a 20-something. Sure, there are tons of you people out there who are my age and have it all figured out. You've got your job, your bf/gf/husby/wifey/vomit, your house/apartment, your car, and all of that shit sorted out. You go about your life all "tralalalala I'm fancy and I've known what I wanted to do with my life since I came out of my Mom's vagina tralalalala!" And you know what, fuck you. JK. Good for you, or whatever. But there are so many of us out there that just aren't like that. I never knew that I wanted to grow up and be a teacher. Or that I wanted to grow up and be a doctor. Sure, there were things that I thought I wanted to grow up and do, but now that I'm "up" those dreams don't feel like me anymore. At least I'm not alone. Judging by everything the internet has been telling me, there are a lot of us in this "what the fuck" boat. Oh, and did I mention we're sinking? At least we're going down together.
Here's the truth- I have no clue what I'm doing. Yes, I don't have even the slightest idea where I'm going to be in 5 years. Yes, I pressed pause on my life to figure it out what the hell I want to do. Yes, I'm probably going to try a million different things until I find my thing. That's where my life is at right now. And I'm not afraid to admit that. I really wish more people were willing to stand up and say "I have no clue what the fuck is going on in my life! Hell yeah!" Let's at least have some fun with it. There are so many of us who are semi-fresh out of college who are waiting to find something great to do with our lives. I, for one, am refusing to settle. Sure, "The Sound of Settling" was an awesome Death Cab for Cutie song, but I refuse to let it be my life. I want to be as excited about my life as I was when I found out that someone gets to name Jelly Belly's as a job.
So we know this much is true: being in your 20s can be a bit sucky and messy. But figuring it all out is partially awesome. Our parents didn't get this same opportunity. The chance to mess up, fail, and try new shit out- try new careers out. Of course, it's very self-indulgent, but so long as we're not hurting anybody and we're attempting to support ourselves with horrible jobs that we will one day quit via a one lined email, WHO CARES? (I actually like my current job, but those of you working at Starbucks, I know that's going to be your move when you finally peace out. Amirite?!) What's also really amazing about this time right now is that your life doesn't just like start one day. It's already going, even if you're still in school, even if you're funemployed, or living at home. This time of confusion and frustration is all part of your (my) story. So yes, it sucks, but we're all in this weird phase together and I think we can find the humor in it, at the very least.
I've decided to continue writing about the fun topic of the suckdom of being in your 20s. I feel I'm some sort of an expert when it comes to having a life in transition, especially at the moment. Why not write about it? So I have every intention of documenting my continuation down this path of confusion until I stumble on whatever it is I'm going to do... until someone finally realizes I'm destined to be the fourth Kardashian sister.
Until then, bring on the messiness, suckiness and insanity of this weird decade of 20s.
PS- Can we make, like, a club or something? Here are a few working titles I've got going. Feel free to come up with your own:
20-Somethings Who Don't Shower Every Day
20-Somethings Who Are As Confused About The Future As You Are About The Ending of Donnie Darko
20-Somethings Who Don't Appreciate The Judgmental Looks They Get When They Tell You They Still Live With Their Parents
20-Somethings Who Want Funemployment To Be Defined In The Dictionary So They Don't Have To Define It To Their Grandparents Anymore
20-Somethings Who Would Join This Club If Meetings Were Like Midmorning So They Can Still Sleep In But Won't Miss Their Afternoon Nap Or 8:00 TV Shows
20-Somethings Who Don't Like Being Categorized As 20-Somethings
20-Somethings Who Spend So Much Time With Their Laptop On Their Lap Watching Netflix, Their Reproductive Organs Are Totes Shot To Shit