Well today I'm dragging my ass to traffic court. I'm totally making way to big a deal out of this whole thing and milking it for all it's worth. It's really pathetic. But I can't help it. I never ever ever ever thought I'd be picking out an outfit for court. I mean, sure maybe I'd become BFFs with some crazy celebrity whose husband would later accuse her of murdering his mistress or something- but even then, I'd just be picking out an outfit to be the "sexy but supportive BFF in the background." Today, I'm oh so lucky enough to be the one facing the judge. (Again, dramatic. I know. I can't help it!) In case you missed it, last week I was in a little fender bender and because I didn't have my license on me, I have to go to court today. Life is fun!
It's definitely not what I want to be doing with my Thursday, that's for sure. I'd rather be doing any of the hundreds of things on my to-do list, but alas today I will be sitting, waiting for my name to be called by the judge or something. Honestly, I have no idea what this whole process is going to be like. For some reason, I have this image of my judge being Judge Judy, and in my imagination, she has no time for my shenanigans or bad driving. She throws the book at me and puts be in jail for "being annoying." Yep, even in my wildest fantasies, I end up in jail. The positive in this whole court thing has been that it's given me a glimpse into a life I could have had (Really, I never could have had.) I'm a good kid at heart, unfortunately, and a life of crime and rabble-rousing just seems exhausting to me. Like, if I was a criminal, how could I ever watch Real Housewives of Orange County? I just feel like I could never fully relax into full on Bravo drama mode, knowing that at any minute the cops could bang down my door and arrest me for stealing all that candy and Diet Coke from the grocery store. (Again, in my wildest fantasies, that's what happens.)
Still, it's kind of fun to imagine a wilder life for myself. A life where I would speed through stop signs, get mad at cops, and never even show up to work because I'm too busy drinking and stealing candy and stuff. Someone out there has the balls to live like that. In the movie version of my life, maybe I can devote a 12 minute montage to imagining my life like this. These songs will play in the background:
PS- Don't worry, post-traffic court experience, I'll tell you guys all about it. Every horrible detail. Fingers crossed for a Judge Judy look-alike!