As most of you may know, I lived in New York City from when I was 18 until about 7 months ago. As of August, I've lived in Ohio, under the watchful eye of my parents (again.) I've posted about why I moved back to Ohio many times before- it's a LONG story & I don't want to bore you with it. Basically, I got pregnant and I had to move home to raise my love child with Ryan Gosling. I'm due any day now! Okay, really my reasoning is way less exciting than that. If I were having Ryan Gosling's baby, like hell I'd move home- I'd be dangling that baby off balconies Michael Jackson style. I'm getting sidetracked. The point is, I'm not having a baby (much to my Mother's dismay) but I AM living in Ohio. This means 95% of my time is spent basking in the glory of Midwest living, complete with Costco & woods behind my house. The other 5% is spent missing New York so much that my toenails hurt. (Yes, that's a thing.) I miss New York more than I miss The Rachel Zoe Project between seasons- anyone who knows me knows this level of missing is pretty much off the charts. It's enough to drive a girl insane.
I was feeling nostalgic this week, so I put together a list of the things I miss most about New York. Some are probably obvious, but all make me want to cry a little bit and lash out violently at the closest human.
1. Food At All Times- When you live in New York, you tend to take for granted the fact that you can get thai food delivered to your apartment at 3AM any night of the week. You can also get liquor delivered to your office (I srsly did this ALL the time. Ooops?) Ohio doesn't work like that. We've got delivery pizza... and that's about it. Oh, and they stop delivering at like 10pm. If you've got the munchies late at night, you have to get your ass up and make food in this foreign land called a "kitchen." THAT'S NOT LIVING, MY FRIENDS! Not only that, but all this food that you can get at all times in New York is DELICIOUS. Some of the best food you'll ever eat. UGH- get in my belly!
2. Coney Island- My love for Coney Island rivals that of my love for most human beings. I'm 100% certain that it's the happiest place on Earth, at least for me. It has EVERYTHING! Beer, roller coasters, a beach, fried food & crying babies!! Couldn't love it more. We have Cedar Point here in Ohio, but it doesn't compare to the trashy awesomeness of Coco Isle!
3. "Only in New York" Moments- Anyone who has spent serious time in New York understands what I mean by this. They're those moments when you turn to whoever you're with (or your imaginary friend that sometimes sits next to you on the subway because you haven't showered in 5 days and no one will come within 10 feet of you) and say "Ah, only in New York. Right?!" A woman pulling her toddler behind her in a fake stroller made out of a milk crate and rope. A homeless guy pooping at the other end of the subway. Two people having sex in the fountain in Washington Square Park. Yes, these are all things that I actually saw in New York. Ah, nostalgia.
4. A Million Things To Do... Always- I really do love the quiet of the Midwest. I like the simplicity- I wouldn't have moved back here if that weren't the case. But a part of me misses the endless options that New York presents. At least 5 good concerts every night of the week, Broadway shows, museums, and things like the Pop Tart Store. And when all else fails, trying a new bar with an old friend. I definitely miss those nights.
5. Being In A City of Irresponsible People- Even though New York is full of millionaires and success stories, it's also full of a ton of people who are convinced they can live in the rest of their lives under the ruse of eternal immaturity. Grown men who refuse to get married and settle down, in favor of bar hopping and vomiting on the street at 4AM. In Ohio, everyone's all married and mellow by 24. Rational people are not my people! No matter how crazy I got in New York, it always paled in comparison to what someone right next to me was doing. In Ohio, I'm a lunatic.
6. Free Drinks- Okay, so this definitely had a LOT to do with my irresponsible behavior. But people give away free drinks in New York like it's nothing! You have to smile at a bartender or just know his cousin's best friend's sister and he's like "SHOTS ON ME! WHO WANTS SHOTS?!" In Ohio, you have to be sleeping with the bartender himself to get a free Bud Light. Ugh. SO much work.
7. Everyday Is Dress Up Day- When I was living in New York, I wore heels ALL the time. It's actually miraculous I didn't ever sprain my ankle. It didn't even have to be a special occasion- I'd just through own heels because I felt like it. Wedges, stilettos, booties- loved them all. Now, when I wear heels in Ohio, I get looked at like I'm an insane person. Or people ask "What are you dressed up for?" It's Wednesday and I felt like looking cute- that's what I'm dressed up for! I miss the days of putting on heels just because and looking totally normal.
8. Unified Sense of Being A New YorkerShit New Yorkers Say" and giggle the whole time, then forward it to your BFF because you "SO totally say all of these things!" It's weird, but living in New York is this sort of bizarre experience you sort of share with everyone else who lives there. You get certain jokes, you hate Times Square, you want to punch tourists in the back of the head, you hate the L train in the morning and you're a bagel snob. Which brings me to....
9. BAGELS- I've found myself running around my house on Saturday mornings, yelling at my dog "WHO DO YOU HAVE TO KILL TO GET A GOOD BAGEL IN THIS PLACE?" (This place, of course, being my kitchen.) But really, I'm a firm believer in the fact that you can't get a good bagel outside of New York. Call me an elitist, but it's true. NOTHING compares to a New York bagel. Bagel Bob's, I miss you so.
10. My Friends- Hands down my favorite part of New York has always been and will always be my friendsies. I miss the days of late night dinners, parties, drinks and shows with my friends. My little partners in crime. I miss all of my friends so much, I can barely stand it. They're just so weird & hilarious. UGH. If I think about them too much, I'll cry. Stopping now.
New York, I miss ya. I'll come visit this Summer.