Thursday, March 29, 2012

That Time Diet Coke Replied To My Tweet & I Died.


The single most exciting event in my life took place yesterday, and I simply felt I would be remiss to not talk AT LENGTH about it on my blog. What extraordinary event was this, you ask? OH, NO BIG DEAL, JUST DIET COKE REPLIED TO ONE OF MY TWEETS! I mean, I'm not trying to brag- BUT I'M TRYING TO BRAG! Like, what have you done this week? Well if your answer doesn't involve having Diet Coke reply to one of your tweets, then you're just not that cool. Plain and simple. That's just the rules of the world. Look, I don't make the rules. I just follow them. OKAY?!

A lot of people like to tell me how unhealthy Diet Coke is for me, and how I need to stop drinking it and all this noise. Well, your pleas are about as effective as the "doctors" on My Weird Obsession- that is to say, NOT VERY! It really is in one ear and out the other. My brain can't even begin to fathom life without Diet Coke. You may call that an addiction- go ahead and judge. But I choose to call it the most important relationship in my life. People? Fuck people. All I need in the world is an ice cold DC & an open road. Okay, not really. I really like Mexican food & my BFFs, too. But if there is one thing in the world that I can't live without, it's my Diet Coke. A lot of people need a cup of coffee to start their morning... I need a DC. Trust me, I'm used to the weird looks and the "EW- IT'S 9AM!!!" comments and whatnot. But it's how I start my day! (I usually try to drink a few glasses of water first. Don't kill me.) I know there are healthier habits to develop, but I love my DC so much. Please don't judge me. It's true love.

I sort of feel like I can take the rest of the week off of life since the greatest thing has already happened. Like- what could possibly be better than Diet Coke replying to one of my tweets, assuring me that it loves me, too?!?!? I suppose I could win a lifetime supply of DC in a contest or something, but I haven't even entered any (this week.) So that's probably not going to happen. LIFE COULD NOT GET BETTER THAN IT IS RIGHT NOW! 

Also, I just want to go on record and say that when I order a Diet Coke in a restaurant and the server asks "Is Pepsi okay?" I want to literally slap them across the face. That would be like if I ordered a cheese pizza and you said "Is a pastrami sandwich okay?" WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM?!?!?! I realize it's an innocent question, but NO, Pepsi is not okay.... That being said, I literally always say "For sure, no problem!" with a smile. I'm too scared to stand up to "the man." (Yes, "the man" in this circumstance is a server.) I will say that of all the things I'm passionate about, Diet Coke is probably a-top the list, right behind women's rights. I kind of wish I was kidding. What do you guys think- am I crazy or do you love Diet Coke as much as I do? 

Seriously... Thank you, Diet Coke. You make all of my dreams come true.

16 comments:

  1. Haha! That is absolutely amazing!

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  2. I love coke.. not so much the diet stuff, but I can assure you if I had gotten a reply tweet from Coca-Cola, I'd be just as excited as you are!!

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  3. Girl, I FEEL you. People are always giving me snarky comments about the 44oz diet coke in my hand, but honestly, they're just jealous that they don't know the happiness you and I share with our daily diet coke doses. It is pure joy and they can go drink their juices and eat their spinach on their own while I enjoy my diet coke and cupcake and die a happy woman. Suck on THAT, haters!

    Ps, I love you so much for this post. You are amazing.

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  4. Dude, you rock my world with posts like this.
    P.S. Diet Coke in countries other than the U.S. is pretty much Heaven. I don't know what kind of crack they put in that shit, but it's amazing.

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  5. Lol you make me laugh! I don't drink no soda eww sorry but kudos to you for sticking to what you love, even though it's bad for ya , sorry had to go there :0) xo

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  6. you're seriously the funniest person EVER. loved this

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  7. You just made me laugh so much! You are hilarious!
    And..I share the love for the diet coke but the mexican one! The american tastes different; I also get the looks and crazyness from drinking it but I have diabetes so I let them talk and enjoy my deliciousness! hahaha
    Its awful that people feel they have the right to tell anyone what to drink or not to! So enjoy!

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  8. This is amazing! Haha, it gave me a good chuckle! I love Diet Coke dearly but myself have stopped drinking it for a bit :( I'm sure I'll be reunited with my love soon enough. XO

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  9. Oh my god I am the EXACT same way with Diet Pepsi. (Not: I don't have an aversion to Diet Coke, I just really like DP.) I am not a HUMAN until caffine and carbonation have hit my lips in the morning. There are worse addictions to have, like heroine. :)

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  10. I agree with every single thing in this post. Diet Coke and I have been besties since Winona drank it in Reality Bites. Congrats on the tweet!

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  11. That is the coolest freakin thing ever. No lie.

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  12. this made me laugh SOOO hard and I'm so glad they love you too.

    but as someone who works for a very large corporation-- and knows the woman behind the twitter account of our very large corporation-- they love tweets like that.

    but in my humble opinion, they should hire you as a spokesperson... i mean clearly, you've got the passion, and they would only need to pay you in dc!! ;)

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  13. diet coke with lime.
    its perfection.
    diet coke with ice.
    diet coke in a can (over 2litter bottle).
    wait, I revert back to: diet coke with lime-- i lovez it.

    xoxo.
    Des.

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  14. I've only once heard of a person as passionate about a soda until now. This made me laugh.

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  15. Oh my word. OH MY WORD. I would have most likely cried a little bit. I, too, and a lover of Diet Coke. I am a solid and loyal fan and will. not. stand. for. Diet Pepsi. That isn't even a real soda.

    This post makes me 100% overjoyed/reaffirms the fact that you're awesome. The end.

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