Tuesday, April 10, 2012

That Time I Auditioned For A Reality Show. Ooops. {Vlog}


Auditioning for a Nameless Reality Show from Carmen Mariah on Vimeo.

Remember how I went on and on about not auditioning for a certain reality show? Well, I change my mind pretty quickly. But this time, even I was surprised that I decided to audition. Turns out, it was SO worth it. Lots of weird stories. 14 minutes of stories. Mainly, I'm just shocked that I didn't say or do anything stupid throughout the entire audition process. Maybe I'm more boring than I thought. It's obviously time to do something reckless now. Oh wait, I just auditioned for a reality show. GAH- this is a vicious circle. Alas, all for not. There's no way in hell I'm making on this show. I'm going to go perfect the speech I will give my grandchildren when they, too, want to audition for a reality show. I think I'll start with a swift kick to the face, followed by "HAVE YOU NO SELF RESPECT?!" (This is assuming that, given the rapid rate of decline in reality TV programming in the past few years, by the time I have grandchildren, it will basically just be porn featuring drunk girls and creepy dudes. So... porn.) Grandma's just looking out for your best interest, Rainwater! (This is also assuming that I will birth at least one weird stoner child {duh} who lives in the forest, names her children after "transcendent acid trips" and raises a kid who is messed up enough to actually want to be on reality TV in whatever state it may be around the year 2050.) Just hedging my bets here people!!!!

ANYWAY- lesson here is that if you're going to audition for a reality show, do it now while you're young. YOLO or whatever.

(PS- I totally picked this thumbnail for the video. I think it really says it all. You probably don't even need to watch the video. Also I may look stoned in part of this video. But I'm not. Don't let the wonky eyes fool you. I shot this in the middle of the day, people! Also, my impressions of people at the auditions are highly offensive and totally inaccurate. I hate myself, too.)

5 comments:

  1. Loved watching your video! I'd totally watch you on RW.

    Kinda hilarious, but I am attempting to go to small claims court in Michigan to fight for some money from a previous job, but the other week I got a letter from a producer at Judge Judy saying that they wanted me to come on the show for this case, they're even saying that they'll pay for everything to get me out to LA. Then just last week I got one from Judge Mathis in Chicago.

    Seriously debating it just to publicly humiliate him!

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  2. Um, please don't take this in a creepy way, but I just started reading your blog a couple weeks ago and I already love you.
    "(This is assuming that, given the rapid rate of decline in reality TV programming in the past few years, by the time I have grandchildren, it will basically just be porn featuring drunk girls and creepy dudes. So... porn.) Grandma's just looking out for your best interest, Rainwater! (This is also assuming that I will birth at least one weird stoner child {duh} who lives in the forest, names her children after "transcendent acid trips" and raises a kid who is messed up enough to actually want to be on reality TV in whatever state it may be around the year 2050.)"

    That's what did it : )

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  3. A swift kick to the face is just one of those parenting techniques everyone needs to have available.

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  4. A quirky story. Of course we only want to watch morons on tv. Except I looooove America's Next Top Model. I'd dream of trying out for that!

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  5. This was so funny :) I don't watch enough TV to have any idea what the show might have been. Love that the contract you signed said they weren't responsible if you got an STD though.
    xo Heather
    http://ahopelessnotebook.blogspot.com/

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