Thursday, September 13, 2012

My Fall TV Lineup {For Losers With No Life}

Ah Fall. My favorite season. It's a special time of year that signifies chunky sweaters, apple cider, football and changing leaves. But most importantly, more than all of that- Fall brings back all of our favorite TV shows, and if we're lucky, some new favorites. Basically, for a person like me who would pretty much always rather be on the couch than anywhere else in the world, Fall is the happiest time of the year. The only way I can possibly describe the excitement I feel about my Fall TV lineup this year is by likening it to what children feel when they wake up on Christmas morning- hopeful, excited, and a little nervous that Santa {the Gods of TV} won't deliver the goods and I'll be stuck sitting on the couch in my pajamas all disappointed and sad. I have a good feeling about the 2012 lineup, though. Pretty sure it's going to be just like Christmas when I was 5 and got a toy kitchen AND a collection of dress up clothes. Except this time, it includes a TV show centered around gay men, AND a TV show centered around sexy biker men. SO much better!!!!

Here a little guide to what I'll be watching this Fall. Just in case you think I watch too much TV and can't possibly have a life outside of sitting on my ass on my couch- you're 100% right. My priorities for this Fall include spending as much quality time with my TV and couch as possible. THIS IS A JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE!!!!

1. The New Normal- To all of my fag hags and sassy or ostensibly unsassy gay men out there- this new show is about to be your Will & Grace 2.0. Guaranteed. It hurts my heart to compare anything to the epicness of W&G, but it's an obvious connection. Here's the gist: two gay men, and their surrogate & her daughter {plus Nene Leakes and a super homophobic Grandma} become the world's weirdest and most endearing makeshift family ever. I'm so in love with the gay couple in this show that it legit makes me upset that they are fictional characters and don't exist in real life. Like, I spend time in my daily life being sad about that. I'm normal. Anyway, the pilot and episode 2 are on Hulu. GET AT IT, GURLS.

2. Sons of Anarchy- Okay, this is a show not only for the ladies and the gays, but also straight men. I mean- it's hot dudes on motorcycles. HELLO! Currently, it's on its 5th season, but seasons 1-3 can be found on Netflix, and season 4 is out there on the internet if you care enough to look for it. And trust me- you care enough. It's so damn good. General premise: Jax Teller, the hottest human who has ever lived, is all badass and in a motorcycle gang, because like, that's what you do when you're that hot. You get even hotter by riding a motorcycle. The show revolves around the motorcycle club, their shenanigans, Jax's family, and his penis' shenanigans. IMPORTANT STUFF. No joke, this show will probably go down in history as one of my all time favorites. It premiered this week & I'm already itching for episode 2!!

3. New Girl- Do I even need to explain this one? I feel like everyone who has ever read this blog or will ever read this blog in the future watches New Girl. That's just kind of my target demo. And I mean, Zooey Deschanel is the love of my life. Not to sound creepy or anything. But you understand, right? Please don't report me to the authorities. I mean well!!! ANYWAY. Get on board with season 2, friends! I fully expect it to be even better than season 1. Can't wait for it to premiere on September 25th.

4. Life After Top Chef- The return of Richard Blais and Fabio Viviani to Bravo TV? COME ON. I thought I would have to subsist solely on Fabio's Domino's commercials forever. But the Gods of TV have seen to it that not only is my favorite Italian Chef {sorry Giada} back on TV, but his BFF is, too! {I like to think that Richard and Fabio are srsly BFFs IRL. Don't dash my dreams, Bravo!!!!} Basically, any excuse to get these two ragamuffins back on TV is okay with me. The show revolves around Richard, Fabio, Spike Mendelsohn {eh}, and Jen Carroll {double eh} as they get their chef on, start new ventures and live their lives and shiz. Who doesn't want to watch that? It's two of my favorite things EVER- food and reality TV drama! Stoked for the October 3rd premiere!

5. American Horror Story: Asylum- OMGOMGOMG. Dudes, if you didn't watch season 1- get on it. I've never put myself through so much torture before in my life. It was like "Okay guys, who's ready to watch some TV? I'm just so excited! I can't wait to gouge my eyeballs out and scream bloody murder for an hour!" But like, in the best way ever. I can only hope season 2 is just as terrifying. I have a feeling it might even take it up a notch. October 17th can't come soon enough.

Shows I'll Defs Be Watching, But Don't Want to Recommend Because You Might Not Like Them:
Parenthood {I mean, I mainly watch it for Lorelai Gilmore}
Go On {Again, I watch it for Chandler Bing.}
The X Factor {You know I love me some Britney & Demi.}
The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons {I don't want to talk about it.}
Up All Night {I watched season 1 and it was hysterical! I love me some Christina Applegate. But Will Arnett and I aren't on speaking terms right now, so we'll see how this all plays out. I just sort of have a feeling he's going to passively aggressively ignore me for like ever. But whatever. He knows what he did. I don't think my heart will ever love again. RIP Will & Amy. Also, Amy, if you're reading this- and I KNOW you are- call me so we can finally be BFFs without Will getting in our way. SMOOCHES. Invite Tina Fey, too.}

Shows I'll Defs Be Watching, But Don't Need to Recommend Because You Probably Already Watch Them:
30 Rock
The Office
Grey's Anatomy
Modern Family
How I Met Your Mother {Except I'm a season behind. So I'll probably just wait until I'm sick or have my period or something and catch up on them all at once.}
Also, I've been seriously considering starting Happy Endings. SO many people have recommended it. Clearly, I'm clamoring to add more shit to my DVR list because I'm running low on shows.

Last but not least- The Mindy Project. Okay, I love my girl Mindy Kaling. Like, on a level that's maybe not healthy. Whenever I've played the game "Which Office Character Are You?" I am ALWAYS Kelly Kapoor. And I'm okay with that- because Mindy is so rad. But her new show... Guys, I'm a little worried. I watched the first episode on Hulu and I wasn't obsessed. It's like they take all the ingredients for a good show- funny writers, great actors, Mindy Kaling who is just all around great at being a human, and somehow they all come together and just fall flat. Has anyone else watched and felt the same? Don't get me wrong- I will watch every single episode and absolutely try my hardest to like it. {And I'll probably be writing a blog in two weeks about how much I love the show and how guilty I feel for writing this in the first place.} But I just want to be honest and say to you guys that my honest opinion at this point is "Omg, I hope this show gets better." Ya know? It's like the show is supposed to be grounded in reality, but totally unrealistic things happen. Then again, that was just the pilot, so it could always make a change for the better. I have a feeling it will. Ike Barinholtz {who, for some reason, has always been Ike Ikebenholtz in my head} is going to have a recurring role, so that will definitely up the funny factor. Basically now I'm just rambling because I feel bad for saying I don't love the pilot. It sort of feels like when I was like 15 and my parents grounded me, and my friends would call me and be all like "why can't you hang out?" and then I'd shit talk my parents to my friends for like 2 seconds, and then spend the rest of my night feeling guilty about it. Right? K, glad you guys are with me on that one. ANYWAY. Never let it be said that I feel anything less than infinite love for Mindy Kaling. {I should probably just delete this entire thing and say that I really like the show. But like.. eh. Honesty and stuff.}

Okay friends, there you have it. That's what I'll be watching! So if you want to hang out in the next few months, the answer is clearly NO. I'm busy... Doing lots of important things. So go away please. THANKS. Also, if there's anything that I've accidentally left off of this list- my sincerest of apologies. I might add a show and/or delete a show from my lineup in the next couple weeks. It's always changing. Especially because I'm currently having a pretty intense debate with myself as to whether or not I should even bother watching Real Housewives of Miami. I'll definitely let you all know ASAP what we {we being me, myself & I} decide on this very important matter.
What will you guys be watching this Fall?

xo! Carmen

original photo found here


  1. Wow, we are TV soul mates. I'm so excited for American Horror Story! And Parenthood! And New Girl! And probably a gazillion other shows. I just really like tv, ok? People look at me like I need a hobby. But tv IS a hobby, am I right?

    I really do get out in the real world... promise.

    1. hahaha omg we are defs TV soul mates! As far as I'm concerned, TV is DEFINITELY a hobby!!!

  2. I love fall tv and I get SO EXCITED about the new upcoming shows! I seriously can't wait for New Girl, American Horror Story, Fringe, and Castle! And in terms of new shows -- Arrow, Beauty and the Beast, The New Normal, and Revolution! Yep, I love tv wayyyyyy to much!

  3. Cannot WAIT until American Horror Story: Asylum!! I'm also excited for Modern Family, Dexter, Castle, Elementary and Revolution.

  4. I watched The New Normal and it was quirky but cute. I think I may continue to watch it. I also will be watching...

    The Middle - Stupid yet funny and it is set in IN and I can't ignore a show set in my state. Love Parks & Rec too.

    Revenge - OMG. Girl, you need to watch this if you haven't yet. It is like a soap opera thriller type show but amazing & Emily Thorne is bad ass.

    Hart of Dixie - Just started watching this and I love it. I want a cute southern boy like Wade. Just saying.

    Survivor - This has been my favorite reality show ever since it started. I've seen every season and I just cannot miss one.

    Parenthood - It makes me cry everytime. I just love it.

    and probably more but I've taken up too much space as it is. Obviously all I do is watch TV.

  5. Sweet Jesus, you've got some great TV shows on your list. I am in LOVE with Happy Endings but I'm so behind. I need to catch up on The Office, too. Shit.
    AND GREYS ANATOMY. I didn't want to watch after the last episode because my favorite people are dying, but shit it's so good and I swear to God I'm Meredith Grey.. with a penis.
    I saw the Pilot of The New Normal and loved it - I'm going to watch the second episode now!
    Also, do you watch Dexter? If so, I'm moving in with you and I'm going to be your bestest homo friend ever. If not, watch it!

  6. YES. The New Girl. I got to get on the New Normal. and of course, How I Met Your Mother.

    Damn. I need to establish my cable tv soon.

  7. New Normal is on my Fall list! I love this blog post, totally just like something I would blog about...or will blog about very soon ;)

    So excited for New Girl!!!

  8. i'm definitely in love with the new normal - the little girl kills me. so funny. and new girl!! i can't wait.

    <3 katherine
    of corgis and cocktails

  9. I love your list, but do think you should be watching ONCE UPON A TIME

  10. I love so many of these shows. I'm so excited for The New Normal and Season 9 of Grey's!!!!!

  11. Ok, so I'm glad to have found someone as serious about tv as I am. (um, what?...)

    I want to watch The New Normal. Really, I do. But I CANNOT get behind Nene Leakes as an actress. I'm sorry. I just can't. I love reality tv as much as the next person (probably more), but it irritates the living shit out of me when reality stars show up on my legit scripted shows. Grr. >.<

    I watched The Mindy Project yesterday. I think it's going to be like how New Girl was. It's going to try too hard for a few episodes and kind of let me down, but then BAM! find it's rhythm and be awesome. At least that's what I'm hoping.

    One show that I have high hopes for is Partners. I have a huge girl crush on Sophia Bush and David Krumholtz cracks me the f up in 10 Things, so I've got my fingers crossed for this one.

  12. Loving this. I need to make my lineup list asap. and YES get on Happy Endings. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. Okay, sorry to yell, but really.


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