Happy Wednesday! I'm so freaking happy to be back into the swing of blogging things again. It feels so good to integrate this into my life again. Ya know? It strangely feels like a way for me to connect with myself, even though it's totally public. Truth is, as I hinted at last week, this whole "moving to LA" thing has been a bit more complicated than I originally planned. I mean, DUH. Turns out, finding a job, a group of friends, a boyfriend and starting a whole new life isn't as easy as they make it look in the movies. In fact, it kind of sucks. THERE- I SAID IT. I cry a lot (A LOT) because I want a great job, a great boyfriend and a social life filled to the brim with fabulous parties. But at 24, that's a lot to ask for- and I am trying to remind myself of that daily. (That being said- if anyone knows of an awesome job/boy/anything in LA- holla at ya gurl.) Just because someone else has it all together doesn't mean I have to right now. I mean, it's a fucking bummer and a half to realize that of any of the characters on Girls, you're Marnie- but you know what- DAMN IT, I'M MARNIE. Well, really, I'm like a fatter, less pretty Marnie with tattoos and without a Charlie. (Where is my Charlie?! Anyone?!?!) My reality right now is a little less than perfect. I constantly drive my roommate insane with all my self-indulgent pseudo-analytical diatribes, and she reassures me that it will all be okay. I blame my parents for not preparing me for the difficulty of adulthood, and most nights end with me indulging in a little bit of self medication. (In moderation.) Certainly that's now where I want my life to be right now, but whatever! And instead of acting like everything is rainbows and glitter (srsly, shouldn't it be?) I'm just going for brutal, ugly, awesome honesty now. Nine times out of ten, reality is so much more interesting anyway. Because damn it, I'm on a journey! And for whatever reason, there is this weird little part of me that enjoys the struggle of this part of my life. There's some kind of nobility in struggle. Don't get me wrong- I totally hate it and would give anything to fast forward to that time in my life when I've finally got it all sorted out. But there's this little hopeful piece of me that whispers "It will all be worth it." And I have to believe that one day, it will. Figuring life out isn't easy, but I have to hold out hope that in the end it will all make sense, even if it doesn't right now.
Until then, I'm going to continue planning little photoshoots in my back patio, because the sun is shining and to paraphrase Hannah Horvath, it's a Wednesday, baby, and I'm alive.
Outfit details: top- Forever 21; skirt- Target; shoes- Payless
(It's moments like these that I realize that my Mom really did raise a bargain shopper. And I'm kind of proud of that fact.)